Morning funsters. Well, last night I succumbed to the one thing that irritates almost every cynical, single person on the planet- I went to a wedding.
Now don't get me wrong, usually I'm very happy for the bride and groom and the fact that they've found eachother and decided to celebrate that by sticking rings on eachothers' fingers. what irritates me is the amount of guest pereparation that goes intothese things. finding clothes that look good, finding clothes that fit, trying to disguise the fact that even though said clothes look good, you still feel like a complete pillock and accepting the fact that no matter how hard you try not to be, YOU are the weird guest at this damn thing whose purpose there is subconsciously debated amongst the other guests.
It all started on Thursday. I spent fuck knows how long trudging around the mall in search for some clothing- I opted for this mushroom silk top thing, some black pants and some heels to match. This was relatively ok until the big day- yesterday- where it went slightly wrong. First, the pantyhose I was wearing acted like cling wrap's sadistic cousin. Then the heels proved to be a pair of toe-crunching, foot-crippling horrors that had a serious grudge against feet. To top it off at the reception, a button on my mushroom silk top thing disappeared proving that cheap chinese labour is at it's finest! Grrr....
The decor at the reception was lovely though- the theme was orange and white and it looked suprisingly classy while being simplistic at the same time. It wasn't too over the top and that's what made it great. The taps in the bathroom however, did not abide by the same principles. Since when did plumbing fixture design become complicated? Honestly, it took me ages to find out how the bloody thing worked!
I think my bitterness comes form me thinking about this guy all night. You see, I like someone....I've liked them for about 4 years. He's in a lot of my classes and basically does not give a shit about me whatsoever. He's very intimidating because he's the guy who is number one at absolutely EVERYTHING and he knows it...but it still doesn't stop me from thinking 'What if he said hi to me?' I'm being a complete freak about this I know but I just like them. And when I see people who have found their soulmates, I tend to wallow in my misery that the only 'love' I've ever experienced really has been unrequited. It's because of this that I know I'll never be the one going out trying to find a wedidng dress for myself as I'm very very cynical when it comes to the illusion caled love that perpetuates the reality of heartbreak. I apologise for this mopey bullshit- I'm trying to get over this guy.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I Can't Love You Anymore Than This
Picture this- you're hancuffed to your chair. The light above your head is searing your eyes becond blindness. The investigator is probing your private life like you're bent over and well lubed up while you're just thinking "God...when the fuck will this be over?'.You're sweating. You're shaking. You have symptoms that the drug manufacturers of the seventies had never dreamed of and then your math teacher swans on by going "Oh by the way, this is a year 9 test. YOUR test will be in 2 weeks."
How are you supposed to feel? Well that's what happened to me today. Sixth period of August 26th, 2008. We were given a year 9 test instead of a proper one. It wasn't even our bloody unit- it was 5.1 maths (common) while ours is 5.3 (advanced). If this was sex, it would've been the type Parker Posey in the O in Ohio would've engaged in and that's a really scary thought.
For those whom are scratching their heads as to what I'm talking about, the O in Ohio is pretty much the worst film I've ever seen. When it comes to sexual comedies, O takes a great big SATC wannabe turd on every successful comedy based around sex. Basically, it's about this woman who can't come at all. Her husband (Paul Rdd- why he put his name on this piece of shit I'll never know) basically gets sick of it and looks for pleasure in the form of a very blank Mischa Barton. Posey however buys a vibrator and bingo, you've found the city of Gold. Then for some bizarre reason, she finds Danny DeVito with a really bad mullet and it all goes downhill from there. Either way, like Parker Posey's orgasm, this film builds up to something brilliant and completely craps out ,therefore making it really fucking rubbish.
Anyway, out of the movie-loving twilight and back to the matter at hand, you do NOT damn well give a class a fake test while they're still shitting themselves. It's just not right man.
How are you supposed to feel? Well that's what happened to me today. Sixth period of August 26th, 2008. We were given a year 9 test instead of a proper one. It wasn't even our bloody unit- it was 5.1 maths (common) while ours is 5.3 (advanced). If this was sex, it would've been the type Parker Posey in the O in Ohio would've engaged in and that's a really scary thought.
For those whom are scratching their heads as to what I'm talking about, the O in Ohio is pretty much the worst film I've ever seen. When it comes to sexual comedies, O takes a great big SATC wannabe turd on every successful comedy based around sex. Basically, it's about this woman who can't come at all. Her husband (Paul Rdd- why he put his name on this piece of shit I'll never know) basically gets sick of it and looks for pleasure in the form of a very blank Mischa Barton. Posey however buys a vibrator and bingo, you've found the city of Gold. Then for some bizarre reason, she finds Danny DeVito with a really bad mullet and it all goes downhill from there. Either way, like Parker Posey's orgasm, this film builds up to something brilliant and completely craps out ,therefore making it really fucking rubbish.
Anyway, out of the movie-loving twilight and back to the matter at hand, you do NOT damn well give a class a fake test while they're still shitting themselves. It's just not right man.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Bubblegum powerpop
Greetings. Ahh, what to write about after all this time...I went and saw my famiglia and had lunch with them which was bizarrely nice. Did a survey on chewing gum which was weird, seeing as I've only recently aquired a habit. Strawberry Extra- there is none better. Nice flavor and doesn't tempt you to swallow upon first chew. Anyway, enough about chewing gum, I also managed to get copies of Snatch, The Big Lebowski and the South Park movie- I really can't be arsed to type the title. Three more movies towards the greatest collection on earth. Anyway, while getting these movies form the ever faithful Warringah Mall JB HiFi, I heard this music- it was sort of infectuous, pop-rock kind of thing. Gave me a very Davey Lane feeling of uneasiness and euphoria. Later on it turned out to be Costello Music by the Fratellis that was on. So, if you want a pop-punk-rock album to dance to, buy it because your legs will love it. I reccommend Henrietta, For The Girl and Everybody Knows You Cried Last Night (that sounds like a teenage 'thriller').
Anyway, the Big Lebowski is another to add to the favourites list, along with Kill Me Tender. They are both hilarious and strangely uplifting, except the Big Lebowski has more memorable movie quotes.
Debt Collector: (pulls bowling ball out of bag) What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Well obviously you're not a golfer.
Walter: The Chinaman is not the issue here!!!!!
Walter: You see Larry? This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the arse!!!!
Walter: Don't worry man, he's a pervert.
The Dude: Yeah, but fuck, he can roll man.
Walter: No, I'm serious. He's a sex offender with a record. he did 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old. Eight year olds Dude, eight year olds.
I also saw another movie- Waking Ned Devine. A very good Irish movie if you can hunt it down. Ed Gein In the Light of the Moon is a good biopic also- not too much gore but it is a little freaky when he's pulling off in the bathtub and when he wears his lady outfit, so be warned!
Anyway, the Big Lebowski is another to add to the favourites list, along with Kill Me Tender. They are both hilarious and strangely uplifting, except the Big Lebowski has more memorable movie quotes.
Debt Collector: (pulls bowling ball out of bag) What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Well obviously you're not a golfer.
Walter: The Chinaman is not the issue here!!!!!
Walter: You see Larry? This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the arse!!!!
Walter: Don't worry man, he's a pervert.
The Dude: Yeah, but fuck, he can roll man.
Walter: No, I'm serious. He's a sex offender with a record. he did 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old. Eight year olds Dude, eight year olds.
I also saw another movie- Waking Ned Devine. A very good Irish movie if you can hunt it down. Ed Gein In the Light of the Moon is a good biopic also- not too much gore but it is a little freaky when he's pulling off in the bathtub and when he wears his lady outfit, so be warned!
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